The anger turned my face a bright red. I couldn’t think straight. My mind was a wreck. Did what just happened, really happen?
“How the hell did I get into this mess?” I thought to myself.
I started to refocus my thoughts, so I could explain what happened. My anger was preventing me from refocusing, though. That was a problem with me; I tended to answer questions with anger rather than logic. Yet again, my anger got me in trouble. I tried thinking back to literally moments before. My face regained its color, I had somewhat cooled off.
My mind blacked out…I think I blocked out what I had done, it was pretty bad. All I remember is when I finally unleashed my rage, because it had been bottled up for far too long. I was that type of person…I turned the other cheek so many times; I practically was waving my head from side to side. Deep down, I felt angry, betrayed, hurt, and ready to attack. If I were an animal, I’d pounce and go in for the kill.
One wouldn’t suspect me as that type, I mean my exterior was pretty basic, I was a normal looking person, not a brute, or mean looking one. On the contrary, I was very approachable, friendly…but people don’t know that in me, hides an angry individual.
There have been countless times when that angry person has been unleashed, countless times when emotions trumped logic. A perfect example is what just happened. I let my anger get the best of me, I let my anger dictate my words and thoughts, and let my brain flat line. I can’t even begin to describe the incident, but voices were raised, expletives were yelled, and egos were damaged. In any case, it had to be done, because karma’s a bitch, and bitches deserve what’s coming to them. Bitches deserve what they get.
Do I really think they deserve what happened? Maybe. Was I in the wrong for what I did? Possibly. Do I resent it? Hell no. There's only so much one person can take. I suppose it shouldn't have even resorted to that, but I have no regrets.
I try to tell myself that I’ll get help for this “problem” but I don’t see it as a problem. I see it as a normal guy, handling normal business. We all have our faults, and this is mine. They say it’s not good to bottle up your emotions, and it probably isn’t, but hey, at least I haven’t gone postal yet, right?